


Il Comico (The Comedian)

by thesherlock666



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, First Meetings, Gallavich AU, Gallavich first meeting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:31:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesherlock666/pseuds/thesherlock666
Summary: Prompt: “Person A in on a first date with someone, and is saying all this corny jokes. Person A's date doesn't sem to find them all that funny, however Person A notices that Person B (who's dining alone at the table next too them) laughs quietly at all of the jokes.”I saw this prompt and I felt inspired. Hope you guys like it.





	Il Comico (The Comedian)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ff. I would love to know what you guys think. Keep in mind that english is not my first language, so feel free to tell me if there are any mistakes (So I can also improve my english... yay)  
> Also, please tell me if the characters went too OOC. I hate when it happens.
> 
> The title is inspired by Cesare Cremonini's song, Il Comico; here's some lines from the song:
> 
> \- Sono stato anche normale  
> In una vita precedente  
> M'hanno chiesto: "Che sai fare?"  
> "So far ridere la gente!"  
> E menomale che non ho fatto il militare  
> Sì, menomale, sai che risate -
> 
> "In a previous life  
> I was normal, too  
> they asked me: "What can you do?"  
> "I know how to make people laugh!"  
> Thank god I didn't join the military,  
> What a laugh it would have been -
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enQo1ghR5Jk
> 
> Lots of love to all of you :*

"Come on, Ian. Rick is a nice guy," Fiona said while putting away the groceries. "He has a steady job, a nice smile. He's out and proud, so It's not like he's hiding a wife somewhere like some of your exes"  
Ian rolled his eyes while putting a gallon of milk on the fridge. Maybe Fiona thought she was being subtle, but it was quite obvious she was referring to Ed, a guy Ian dated some months prior. At first Ian thought that Ed just didn't like PDAs, and it's not like Ian himself was the kind of guy who had the habit to hold hands with his boyfriend. But then, after a a month or so, Ian discovered a second cellphone Ed was hiding, and after a couple of more months, when the two of them met some of Ed's coworker, his boyfriend introduced Ian as a cousin who came visit him from Arizona. When Ian tried to talk to him about it, Ed decided to shut him up with a kiss. - Maybe he's not out-, Ian thought. A week later thought, Ian received a call from Ed's wife. Yup, wife. Ian just sighted - Ed wasn't even the worst guy he'd dated.  
  
So yeah, maybe it would be a good idea to date the guy Fiona kept talking about - he did seem nice. But Ian just didn't feel like face another failure.  
  
"It's just... I don't know, Fi" Ian sighted, sitting on a chair. "I'm not really sure about the whole blind date thing. Also, I'm not so desperate that I need my sister to find a guy for me."  
  
"You know it's not like that. I really think you and Rick would make a nice couple" Fiona ruffled his hair before kissing his head sweetly.  
"So, what do you say? Ally's, tomorrow night at 8pm?"  
Ian sighted, but nodded nonetheless. He could give this Rick guy a chance.  
  


  
♦♦♦♦♦  
  


  
"My car broke down, again. I can get the L to go to work, but I need you to come and get me after my shift." Mandy crossed her arms, the vision of his brother taking a dump didn't even bother her.  
"Jesus fucking Christ, Mandy! Couldn't you wait ten fucking minutes for me to get out of the goddamned bathroom?" Mickey yelled, feeling all of a sudden naked. Mandy rolled her eyes, it wasn't like it was the first time she saw Mickey on the toilet.  
"My shift ends at nine. If you pass by earlier I'll get you a free dessert" and with that she was out of the bathroom, leaving an annoyed Mickey behind her.

  
"This fucking house, I swear to god."

  
  
♦♦♦♦♦

  
  
Ian was smoking a cigarette in front of the diner. His date was already there, seated in one of the table in the middle. Ian shook off the doubts and took a deep breath before entering the diner. Rick was indeed a good looking guy: he had short, light brown hair and was wearing black glasses. Ian always thought glasses were kind of sexy. Rick smiled as soon as he saw the redhead approaching.   
"Rick, right?" Ian said offering a small smile to the man seated at the table.  
"Uh, yeah, yeah, and you're Ian I suppose"  
The redhead smiled and sat in front of his date. The place wasn't very crowded fortunately, the only table occupied in their area was the one next to them; a black-haired guy, whose face Ian couldn't really see since it was covered by the large menu, was sitting there alone. What Ian could see though, was the tattoo on his knuckles; It made him internally laugh, for some reason.   
  
Ian turned away from the guy sat at the table next to his, and focused all of his attention on Rick.  
"I've never been here, it's a nice place," the redhead said with a small smile, "better than the upsexy I've seen out there before" he added.  
  
Ian wasn't great at starting a conversation. He really wasn't.  
  
"What's upsexy?" Rick asked naively, the joke didn't click with him just yet.  
  
They were the most awkward thirty seconds of his life. Ian heard a suffocated laugh, but it sure wasn't Rick's.  
  
"Uhhhh..." an embarrassed laugh escaped Ian's mouth."It was a kind of a lame joke, you... uhm, you ended up saying what's up sexy and..."   
"Oh, yeah, I get it now!" Rick's laugh was a little bit too loud to be completely true.  
  
"Jeez, that was the worst icebreaker since the Titanic!" Ian exclaimed after a few second of silence.  
Once again Rick seemed lost at the redhead's words and, once again, there it was the small, suffocated laugh.  
"You mean the movie?"  
"Uhm, the Titanic... like the ship? The one that crashed agai-" nope, Rick was not getting it. Ian scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. "You know what? Never mind. Do you already know what to order?"

♦♦♦♦♦  
  


  
Ten minutes passed before a black-haired waitress went to take their orders.  
"Are you guys ready to order?"  
"I'll have a cheeseburger and a soda, thanks" Ian said with a small smile.   
"For me the octopus salad and some water"  
The waitress wrote the order on her little pad and walked away. While she passed over the table where the black-haired man was sitting, the guy whistled. "Yo, I'm still waiting for the cheeseburger Mands"  
The waitress didn't even looked at him.  
"Just wait your turn, shitface"  
Ian could see from the corner of his eyes the guy roll his eyes.   
  
  
"So, the octopus salad, huh?" Ian said, and before he could stop himself, the words escaped from his mouth. "Do you know how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?"  
The guy looked at Ian genuinely confused.  
"I don't know, eight?"   
"Nope, ten tickles"  
"Why ten?" Rick asked, but he didn't seem so curious about the answer.  
"Ten tickles. Tentacles."  
  
Twenty seconds of silence passed.  
  
"Just a pun" Ian said quietly just as Rick was standing up.  
"I have to go to the bathroom" and with that the date was gone.  
  
  
"Jesus fucking Christ" Ian said quietly to himself, while he passed a hand through his red hair. In that exact moment, the waitress brought the drinks to their table, and a cheeseburger to the one next to them.  
  
Mickey waited to have a bite of the cheeseburger in his mouth, before speaking.  
  
"In his defense, the octopus pun was really terrible"  
Ian looked at his right just to find the black-haired man staring at him. His frustrated look was soon replaced by a relaxed, curious one.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I start making bad jokes when I'm nervous. But it's not like the guy is trying here"  
The dark-haired guy smiled.  
"Where did you find this guy anyway? Who the fuck orders the octopus salad?"  
Ian laughed, he really couldn't say the guy next to him was wrong.  
  
"Blind date. I'll have my sister ass once I go home"  
The black-haired man raised his eyebrows; It took Ian a couple of seconds to realize.  
"N-not that way, I, uhm, meant..."  
  
The guy tried not to laugh, but fuck, it was hard.  
"Chill man, your date is coming back".  
  
Rick was indeed coming back from the bathroom. He had a little apologetic smile that screamed sorry from everywhere.  
"Uhm, I have a kind of emergency, I have to go, sorry. But it was nice meeting you" Rick said visibly uncomfortable. Ian smiled at him.  
"It's okay, don't worry"  
"Do you need a ride home?" His date asked, taking the coat from the back of his chair. Ian shook his head, "no, thanks, I've come with my car. I'll just eat something here"  
Rick awkwardly touched Ian's shoulder before heading out.   
  
Ian was oddly relieved that his date was finally over.  
  
A few more moments and the waitress came back to his table, the cheeseburger and the octopus salad on the tray.  
  
"Uhm, I'll have the salad to go, thanks"  
  
The waitress was a little startled at first, but then seemed to understand and offered him a sympathetic smile.  
  


♦♦♦♦♦  
  


The redhead was a dork. No doubts about that. He was simply an handsome dork. Mickey didn't do dates, simply because he wasn't interest in such things. He had his calm, quiet life, which was great for his chaotic personality. He didn't need someone to come and change things into his life. But Mickey was sure of one thing: if he'd ever have a date with someone who'd made stupid fucking jokes like the redhead, he probably would've punched them in the guts. But if those jokes would've come from the redhead... well he wasn't so sure anymore. He was a dork with fainted freckles that made his puppy face even cuter. The redhead could've said the worst pun in the world, and Mickey would've fallen for him anyway.

 

"Twelve dollars and sixty-seven cents"

Mandy's voice scared him a little as he was staring and daydreaming about the redhead on the table next to his'.

"What?"

"Your dinner, It's twelve dollars and sixty-seven cents" Mandy repeated like he was an idiot.

"I thought I was having a free dinner for taking your dumb ass home!"

"No, you idiot. I said you could have a free dessert, not a whole free fucking meal!"

"Well, where is the fucking dessert, then?"

"You'll eat your goddamned dessert at home. Now can you please pay the bill and leave a fucking good tip, so I can change and go home?" Mandy crossed her arms and looked at her brother expectantly. Mickey rolled his eyes, but pulled out his wallet nonetheless. He fished a twenty dollar bill and handed it to his sister.

"You better take the apple pie home, It's the only pie eatable in this shithole."

Mandy simply ignored him and took the cash, happy for the tip she'd just received. She then turned to the redhead of the table next his brother's and completely changed her tone.

<<Can I get you anything else? We have really good pies>> Mandy said with a smile, ignoring her brother's scoff, <<the apple one is one of the best, and you're a lucky guy 'cause we have just one piece left>>

The redhead laughed a little, probably because he'd just heard the whole conversation between the two siblings. He glanced at Mickey for a moment before nodding to the waitress. <<Yeah, I'll have the apple pie, thanks.>>

 

Mickey watched the redhead in disbelief; did he seriously steal the fucking apple pie from him? The guy wasn't even looking at him, too busy scrawling on a napkin. Mickey was ready to flip the guy off, but then the redhead stood up and approached him, his lips forming a smirk that hid quite well his insecurities.

<<I thought you may want to share that pie. I'll leave you my address, just in case.>> The redhead put the napkin he was holding on the table, and with that he went straight to Mandy, cash in hand.

 

Saying that Mickey was confused and surprised was an euphemism. He sat in his chair watching the redhead give Mandy some cash and take in return a white bag from her, probably containing the octopus salad and the apple pie. Then, without even looking at Mickey, he left the diner.

Quietly, Mickey took the napkin and read what the few lines written on it. There was what was clearly and address, and then the words “I hope you'll come... but then, everybody always come when they're with me. The name's Ian btw.”

 

Mickey smirked and carefully put the napkin in his pocket. He was going to eat pie.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading!  
> You can find me on my new tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/iamasteppenwolf  
> If you want, you can leave me prompts - I'll try to write something!
> 
> Lots of love to all of you :*


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